Continue to your download.
Start Interactive Ad Now
Thanks for watching.
Mind Over Murder“All inmates report to the mess hall.” I hear as I regale my cellmates of why I am in prison.“Well, it really all started before I was born. My mother was very ill, cancerous, actually, when she was pregnant with me. The doctors in charge of her treatment for some reason thought it a swell idea to go ahead with new techniques of chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Now, if you are educated, you know that both of those treatment styles are very dangerous for an unborn child, and can cause birth defects and other major complications. Well, that was not at all untrue. The radiotherapy is mostly what removed the neurons that block all the rest of you from gaining full access to your brain, not to imply that I am smarter than you, although I am. It only took me about a week to gain full mental awareness, and to begin learning from my environment. Now, it happened that I was not physically mature enough to speak, but when I could, my parents were quite surprised to hear tha
A Snail's LifeI saw, no, more of... smelled the humans and their marijuana approaching, and I knew it was time to split for the cracks in the pavement. My antennae licked across the ground, guiding me until I stopped the steady mucus secretion from pushing me past the crack. I burrowed into my shell, and waited for them to pass.“Dude, where did you score this shit? It's so rad...” One of them stammered as he stumbled past, his footsteps shaking the ground, and sending vibrations through my shell. I was shaking, waiting for them to pass.“Dude, I'm an elf. I totally picked a dude's pocket.” The other stammered past, his steps more rhythmic, and more painful. He was obviously a lot heavier. After they had passed and were long gone, I crept out of hiding in my shell, and began the long journey home, sliding smoothly across the rough pavement.'Last time I ever go out scavenging near a nest'Yes, being a snail in the 1970's is tough, but what the hell, have a happy browni